Dealing with Disappointment

Cape Disappointment, WA 

Are you a Sinker, Swimmer, Duck or a Sailor?

Life is full of disappointments.  Some are harder to overcome than others.  There are people who never seem to get past being let down.  In contrast, there are those who have no problem letting go and moving on, completely unfazed by disappointment.  Of course, there are those who are situated between the two extremes.    

I call those individuals who can’t get over hardships,  “sinkers.” These folks let the woes of life weigh them down, causing them to sink, dragging them to the bottom, where they live life among the pond scum of despair. Yuck, no thank you.

Those in the middle are the “swimmers”; they tread the waters and become one with the waves of life. Although exhausted and often short-sighted, they are determined to fight the currents and rip tides of their situation at all costs. 

Next are the “ducks”, those that seem to peacefully glide upon the pools of disappointment, allowing the waters to flow off their backs.  Meanwhile, their submerged duck feet are frantically paddling, hidden from the view of others.



Lastly, are the “sailors,” those who sail the seas of disillusionment, by catching the wind in their sails, and tacking tenaciously through it.  Reveling in the breeze and the ocean spray, they breathe in deeply, daring the ocean of adversity to challenge their assured, “never gonna sink me” buoyancy.

I think I reside somewhere in the middle. I do my best to swim, but mostly I am a duck!  I have had my share of life’s disappointments, times of trial, betrayals, and unmet expectations. Like you, I have been sadden and disheartened in life. Ill-spoken and berating words have burdened my mind polluting my outlook. Countless times, I have been drenched with “when it rains it pours” mishaps and I’ve had my feathers ruffled by numerous “seriously, I can’t believe you did that” callous acts.  But, I keep moving my duck feet, skimming through the ripples of life, allowing for the waters of disappointment to bead and eventually roll off my back. 

Recently, I acknowledged to myself and my husband, that I have never really been much of a dreamer. (Maybe, it was one of those unique times to “confess your faults one to another.”  I am not sure; I’ll let you decide.) Anyway, even as a child, I did not set my hope toward any fulfillment of dreams. I cannot recall ever wishing for a certain gift for my birthday or Christmas, nor a trip to somewhere special like Disneyland.  I think I have journeyed through my life in a semi-content manner, taking the good with the bad.

Now, with my life past its midway point, I ponder this perspective.  I have spent my life encouraging others to dream, to be the best they can be, to stretch toward purpose and lean into their God-given destiny.  Yet, I remain a duck on the pond of life.  To be honest, I enjoy being a duck, especially the years of having and raising ducklings. My duck feet paddle with exuberance at the sight of my children taking flight and soaring, migrating the hopes and aspirations of their lives. I have been known to squawk as well, don’t mess with my ducklings, for if you do, you will hear a mouth full of complaint! At times, I have chased and nipped at the heels of unwanted predators.

However, in this season of life, I think I would like to be a sailor.  Even as I type, this thought causes me to smile and inwardly chuckle.  Is it really possible to change my outlook after all of these years?  The old adage, “People change, but not much” is whispering in my ear. Furthermore, I use to have a major issue with boats!  True, several years ago, I faced that fear by going to Catalina Island,  but still.  I guess we will have to wait and see.  Oh no, I didn’t! Oh yes, I did.  I said, “Wait and see.”  

Wait, hope and expect .... oh my!

“Wait and hope for and expect the Lord; be brave and of good courage and let your heart be stout and enduring. Yes, wait for and hope for and expect the Lord” (Psalm 27:14- Amplified). 

Wait, hope and expect, must be important because they were mentioned twice in one verse!   

By nature, I do not wait well.  However, I have worked diligently at improving my patience level.  (I can thank my children for helping me with this endeavor.)  Hope... I love hope; I choose to be a prisoner of hope (Zechariah 9:12).  Nothing breaks my heart more, than the words “I have given up, there is no hope.” Please, please never surrender your hope!  Expect... okay, now we are getting to the nitty-gritty. Expect means to look forward to and anticipate the occurrence of something.  Sounds a whole lot like dreaming to me. I guess in reality, I hope to be able to dream at some point of my life.

Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream Speech” still resounds today.   He had a dream, and he looked forward to the day when his dream would be realized. To our dismay, his life was taken prior to the fulfillment of his dream. But, you and I have the opportunity to live out Dr. King’s dream.  Joseph had a dream. Yet, he endured the pit and prison before he enjoyed his appointment to palace. Moses led a stiff-necked generation of people through the desert for forty years, enduring a sea of endless complaints. Moses never entered the Promised Land, but he entered the presence of God many times.  Dr. King, Joseph, Moses, the Apostle Paul, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Theresa, Thomas Edison, the list goes on and on.  These unique and honorable individuals faced disappointments like sailors.  They got hit, tossed and turned by gale forces several times, but each time they got back up. They suffered harsh conditions, yet, maneuvered their course, standing courageously against adversity. They never lost their resolve.

 

We admire these noble men.  Our mindsets should be challenged to move past admiration and into action.  We need to gather around “sailors,” men and women who defy disappointment.  We need to have them rub off on us.  We must gather the courage to get on board and set sail on the voyage of discovery, hoping and expecting that we will reach the other side, achieving our dream. Being surrounded by military personnel, I can hear my Navy friends, shouting “Go Navy!” Ha-ha  Regardless of what branch of military or walk of life we are in, it is our responsibility to “be present and accounted for” our preordained appointments.

“For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live]” (Ephesians 2: 10 – The Amplified).

According to Ecclesiastes 3: 17, there is an appointed time for every matter and purpose and for every work. Simply put, an appointment is a prearranged, agreed upon, designated place in time to be. Disappointment occurs when we don’t show up, or we are late! Disappointment is a failure to keep an appointment. If I may go one step further, disappointment occurs when we are not on point. When we are on point, we have understanding of where we are to be at any given time (our appointment). When we are on point, we are “ready to perform and get down to business” (Urban Dictionary).  If we are not on point we are living haphazardly, without purpose, becoming open targets for failure and discontentment.  When the time came for Joseph’s appointment to the palace, he was ready, willing to get down to performing Pharaoh’s business.  Dr. King and Moses, both leaders of perverse generations, kept their appointments with their destiny as well.  They were in the right place, at the right time, they were on point, making a way for others to follow.

“What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves? This is the most important of all voyages of discovery, and without it, all the rest are not only useless, but disastrous.”  - Thomas Merton

So today, I ask you:  Are you disappointed?  If so, Don’t Sink! You have only been knocked down.  Don’t let the waves keep you floundering, reach out and grab hold of the Life Savior.  “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). In our weakness, He is strong. The Lord is our protector, our strong tower; in Him we find refuge.  Are you at your designated place?  If not, get on board, be on time and show up! I have spent most of my life, managing and controlling, which of course does not leave much time for dreaming. But, now I believe it is time for a change.  How about you? Our visions, our dreams are for an appointed time and they hasten to be fulfilled. Our purpose, our God-given dreams will not deceive or disappoint us. Though some may tarry, it is imperative that we wait for them. We can’t give up because they will surely come; they will not be late on their appointed day (Habakkuk 2: 3). Lastly remember, this is our time, we were born for such a time as this (Esther 4:14).

   

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

"Let us go over to the other side ... So they got into a boat and set out” (Luke 8:22 NIV).  

Join me as we set our sails into the great beyond.... beyond grief, beyond despair, beyond failure, beyond betrayal, beyond doubt, beyond fear, beyond guilt, beyond frustrated expectations. Set your bearing, pick your point on the horizon, and set sail. I’ll be waiting for you, see you on the other side.  

If you enjoyed what you read in my blog, I encourage you to read my book -  Exposed! 

You can purchase your copy at http://www.amazon.com/Exposed-Cheryl-E-Rodriguez/dp/149425591X/